Franchises – or "tent poles" as we like to call them because "tent pole" sounds funnier – R Us this issue as POSTAL marks its new territory by peeing all over the film, music, comics and hot-chicks-on-DVD industries.

And at the eye of the storm, there's the now-in-development POSTAL 3, which stands to keep our legend as the World's Most Dangerous Software Company alive, well and state of the art.

From the incredible winning streak of Team POSTAL – the Running With Scissors-sponsored mixed martial arts fighters – to our recent success at securing worldwide PC and Mac access to Running With Scissors games (even if you live in POSTAL-hating Australia!), we're everywhere this month and as Max Bialystock advised us, "If you've got it, flaunt it!"

So we're flaunting and we're not even ashamed. We've got a seriously hot – and seriously game-friendly – POSTAL Babe this month, tons of news for and from the POSTAL Nation, a brand new and entirely original POSTAL comic (excuse me, graphic story) and, just to class up the act, the Game Doctor gives the 411 on why we don't get to see the Dude's Johnson in POSTAL 2.

In other words, I've done my job and can rest comfortably in that miserable, uncomfortable pit I live in just so Vince can impress people ("Look! He's really got a Gimp!") until next issue, the theme of which will be… no, the hell with it. The game industry is too obsessed with What's Next. Read this issue and love it for what it is and then come back next time, expecting more of the same.

We'll just have a different Theme listed at the top of the page.

Okay, you can all leave the bathroom now to revel in the more visually attractive components of this newsletter. And renters, take off those filthy hip waders and leave them in the box marked "Clean" on your way out.

Please drive through.

--The Gimp
Editor, The Urinal