The Game Doctor

[The Game Doctor has been a legend in the electronic gaming industry since he debuted in the world's first video/computer game publication, "Electronic Games" in 1981. He has answered software-related questions in more than a dozen magazines and gaming sites. As a long-time fan of POSTAL, he has made periodic pilgrimages to the gopostal.com site and now returns to answer questions for The Urinal. Doctor, your patients await… The Gimp]

The period of rollout for any new console system is always a dangerous time. It is obviously dangerous to the manufacturer, since it may fail utterly in spite of the most masterful hype this side of heaven (anybody remember the 3DO?). But it's also a treacherous stretch of time for the consumers.

-To recap: nobody ever bought a 3DO.

My personal rule is to never buy a new console system for its first nine to twelve months on the market. The so-called "early adopters" wind up paying the highest price the system will ever sell for, have access to the fewest and, by and large, poorest games and get to pay for the privilege of beta testing it.

Then, a year later, a new edition of the same system arrives with all the bugs worked out, a ton of software (the developers have now had two years to learn the system) at a lower price point. And a lot of the new games no longer play on the "old" version of the system.

You're welcome, hardware industry!

-To recap: something funny about asses and
the hardware industry goes here.

This time out, a long-time reader discusses the new MS Xbox 360. Read it and beware – and remember, you won't need to buy one until POSTAL 3 is ready, by which time I have total confidence that the machine will work like a dream!

Q: Doc, I have a question for you.  I've gone 360 CRAZY like the rest of the gaming world, and have several concerns about this greatest piece of gaming.  Maybe you can shed some light on things for me.

My biggest question is backwards compatibility.  Never having owned an Xbox, this wasn't an issue at all with me; until I bought the new system.  As I go to various discount stores, stores going out of business (I'll miss you Media Play, Suncoast and Sam Goody) video rental stores, etc, I'm finding a whole crap load of discounted Xbox games.  In fact, I found "Celeberty Death Match" at Sam Goody for (after 20% discount)  $3.88 !!!  Can you believe that, Dr.?  A game of that caliber for only $3.88 ??  NEW even!

With my lousy game selections aside, I'm amazed that the people who brought you DOS 6.11 have yet to figure out how to make their system backwards compatible with… their own system!  As a guy who knows a thing or two about a thing or two, maybe you could drop the programmers at Microsoft a note for me.

As a huge fan of software/hardware emulation (though not a programmer myself) I think the biggest flaw is the thinking of the X360 programmers.  From everything I've read (including xbox.com) they have been working title by title for emulation.  If you would tell 'em for me, Mr Dr, they're going about it all wrong.

Remember back in the old days, when the Commodore Amiga 500 ran Atari ST software *faster* than the Atari ST computer?  I do, thanks to my medication.  More recently, there have been hundreds of software emulators for older systems (check out www.retrogames.com for example).  What Microsoft needs to do, in my not so humble opinion, is emulate the hardware, not the software.

My point is, all Xbox games were designed to use a Pentium 3.  All X360 programmers need to do, is write a P3 emulator.  Sounds simple, but all of a sudden, they've created an emulator that will play every Xbox game out there, since they all run on a P3.  Pretty nifty huh?  I have no idea what video system they used, but a simple emulator for the video, and whammo, now everything plays and can been seen.  What about the sound? Yeah, that too, one emulator, and its finished.

X360 guys already have a working emulator for over 200 games, but I see no reason why everything shouldn't work on the system.  The Xbox games all used the same processor, video and audio subsystems.  If one works, they all should work.  You know, I didn't pay $9.88 for DOOM 3 for nothing, which is what it amounts to because it's not yet available for emulation.  Which, by the way, neither is Celeberty Death Match!.

Not a question, but an observation.  XLive seems to be killing Sony.  I have nearly perfected my home network.  My wired/wireless hybrid is really coming together.  I now have 3 PCs, my X360 and a PS2 hooked up to the router.  To test the network, I put my PS2's RAW vs SMACKDOWN in since I know that has networked play.  After a small network setup (changed from AOL to my iSP) I was online and .. not kicking butt.  On a Sunday night, 9p Eastern, there were a total of 8 people in the RAW v SMACKDOWN area.  On the X360 side, I was getting the "server full" message for Call to Duty 2.  Granted, the PS2 game is old, but one would think SOMEONE would be playing it.  The chaps online were using the PS2 as a chat room, nothing more, nothing less.  Hopefully, the PS3 will tear some of the people off the X360 site, and I'll finally be able to get fragged due to my terrible gaming skills, and not due to network congestion.  Yeah, I'm gonna lose, but at least I'll be losing because I suck, and not the system sucking.

-To recap: Stacy = not sucking.

Anyhow Doctor, I had some free time, so I thought I'd drop you a note to complain about how X360's emulation team isn't working correctly.  if they would just focus on emulating the hardware, the software will fall into line. if they need to use each of the new system's 3 cores, one for emulation of the sound, one for the processor, one for the video, it would work, and so would all the games, including Celebrity Death Match.

--Soulful A

A: Yeah, the emulation thing sounds great. In fact, Sony's reverse emulation is among the most intelligent ideas any game company has come up with to deal with the issue of what to do with that fortune in software from the previous generation. It's probably responsible for the fact that the PS2 is the clear winner in this generation's video game wars. On the other hand, as you observe, Sony's failure to produce a better online service is its major drawback.

Now I have to tell you why I don't believe you will ever see the reverse emulation you envision on the 360. I believe that the main reason Microsoft rushed the 360 to market prematurely (between not having enough systems available and the buzzkill that is the system's paltry number of Xbox games capable of reverse emulation, there was much disappointment in the homes of gamers during this past holiday season) was its desire to get the original Xbox out of the picture. I believe they wanted it replaced with just about anything that could play a few of the most popular Xbox games and WASN'T modeled on a Pentium 3. I got the sense that an awful lot of people were transforming their $150 Xboxes into working PCs and the compatibility issue that Microsoft found so sensible during pre-rollout was suddenly becoming a pain in the ass.

Besides, all those emulators would take up room and any console that is much larger than a TV Dinner is going to look old fashioned and clunky in the next generation. Hell, the new PS2s are so thin you can almost read through them!

But again, let me state for the record that by the time POSTAL 3 arrives, I am confident the 360 will be running like butter. For some reason, I don't think Sony likes us. Well you know what? Their Trinatrons aren't nearly as good as they used to be. There, I've said it and I'll live with it.

Speaking of the next generation, the war has already begun. Sony is in deep shit right now, having wagered much of the success of the PS3 on its Blu-ray DVD technology. Then, last fall, Microsoft – which had previously maintained a careful neutrality in the VHS vs Betamax-style war that was brewing between Blu-ray and the seemingly dead and buried Toshiba HD-DVD tech – declared its support for the HD-DVD format and suddenly Toshiba was not only back in the game but was causing Sony some major grief. Next, Intel took Microsoft's back and threw its weight behind Toshiba, while LG Electronics and Hewlett-Packard both abandoned their previously-exclusive commitment to Blu-Ray and agreed to license the HD-DVD Toshiba technology.

To recap: Betamax lost.

Microsoft's official story is that Blu-ray began to look like a rather difficult tech to work with and the other companies back that up. Even Sony was forced to acknowledge that there were some bugs to be swatted on Blu-ray by announcing that the hoped-for spring launch of the PS3 would be delayed by problems with the DVD tech.

It's no longer just a video game war (remember that the best-selling piece of software on the PS2 for many months after its release was the DVD version of "The Matrix"). Sony hoped to take over the electronic living room entertainment scene with the PS3 and the company will be in major trouble if the system is significantly delayed or the DVD tech proves troublesome. And in the process, Microsoft not only goes with what suddenly looks like a safer format but put some birdshot into Sony's face at the same time.

So this generation's going to get ugly, while Nintendo seeks its own niche with simpler, more mainstream gaming and its revolutionary DS handheld system.

-To recap: Nintendo seeking it's own niche.

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Okay, gang, that's it for The Game Doctor. We'll be back next month, just like the guy who reads your electric meter. In the meantime, in between time, you can find answers to the most Frequently Asked Questions, check out the official GoPostal.com site. But send any new questions regarding RWS, the POSTAL franchise and anything else that occurs to you to: GameDoctorKunkel@gopostal.com.