Ah, it's a new year, which means this fetid john has gotten its annual hose-down. And damned if all that antiseptic isn't worse than the smells it's supposed to be sanitizing. I mean, there are smells, and there are smells and when two powerful smells come together, either one defeats the other or *shudder* they actually blend into an entirely NEW smell, comprised of the worst elements of both previous odors.

Which is basically what happened here, so I hope our MMA athletes have found someplace else to change their filthy jockstraps. Did I say "MMA" as in Mixed Martial Arts? That's right, it's time for our Extreme Sports issue of the newly-dubbed Running With Scissors Newsletter . Sure it sounds classier than The Urinal, bit you'll notice I'M still here in the outhouse. With the smells. And the empty toilet paper dispenser.

To celebrate the issue's theme, I conducted interviews with three of our sponsored MMA fighters, Shane Johnson , Ed West and Chad Griggs. We also have a sneak peak at some of the ambitious projects we have coming up in '06, including the Postal movie, a Postal Babes DVD, more games and offshoot projects as well as the Running With Scissors-Softwrap deal that will sell POSTAL games virtually anywhere in the world.

We also have our usual features – the Game Doc looks at some of the great extreme sports game simulations and, jeez, you're already reading the editorial so you know that's here. Postal Nation has some great contributions from you readers and the news focuses, among other things, on the tragedy in Russia and on Jack T 's shameless attempt to spin it into anti-POSTAL propaganda.

And now, to close things with dignity and formality, a letter from Flynn Myers :

" To: Vince Desi

Subject: Where is the January Urinal?

Like, just asking, man!

A month without the Urinal is kinda like a full day being deprived of peeing.

Hurts, and you'll never know when the bladder's gonna blow! ;)

Flynn

p.s. Oooooohhhhhhhh...

Made a mess in the living room, but DAMN, do I feel better!"

Well, Flynn, your whizz is our command, next time don't hold it so long, you'll have an aenurism! Besides, there's always another RWS Newsletter in the works with a Urinal ready for your convenience. And as my grandmother always used to say: "A carrot's a carrot, but a pee's a relief!"

And wash yer filthy hands on the way out! By the way, that's a tip dish, not an ashtray…

--The Gimp
Editor, The Urinal