From The Tip Jar:
How To Not Get Pwned in Postal Multiplayer
By ::BWA::Crazy Chic

We've got ourselves a very special guest to contribute to this month's "Tip Jar" – one of the legendary Bitches With Attitude (BWA), so you boys all behave yourself or teacher will spank. And if you're REALLY bad, you won't get spanked at all! Now, you Crazy Chic, take it away!
-- The Gimp

Caveat: While I find it quite entertaining to watch nOObs get smoked – hell, it's downright fucking hilarious! – I guess I could still afford to share a few tactics and such to help a poor nOOb out. And by the way, some of these have worked for me.

Now I will be the first to admit I am not a hardcore gamer but I am hooked on POSTAL. I may not even be one of the best players on POSTAL 2: Share the Pain MP but I do a damn good job for a chic.  I have been playing for about a year now so I have picked up a few things. Paying attention to your teammates and opponents is key to survival. Study their skills, movements, strategy – become your enemy!

First tip for new players: I recommend reassigning the key commands in your Options to whatever feels most comfortable for each individual to manipulate the game play. Explore all the options, movement, controls, inventory, settings. Host a few games with some morons and make it a password-access server so you can get the feel of the game before actually getting thrown to the lions. Be sure not to host as a dedicated server. Finding a server ya can spectate on is a good idea as well.

I also recommend turning off the automatic weapon switch on pick-up. It is irritating as hell when you are in battle with your shotty and you accidentally back ya over a pistol. Now you have a pistol in ya hand! What the hell good is that going to do ya?

When battling in teams, stick together. It's your best option; ya gonna need back up.

As you are running through gameplay every three seconds you should turn and look behind you – you just might have a sneaky enemy stalking ya. Always look side to side, slow down around ya corners and stick close to the wall.

Don't charge at ya enemies. Keep ya distance as they come at you then blast them back with ya shotty, and for God's sake keep moving – don't stand there and take it like the French.

Try to use the health on the maps rather than the health pipes; those are sacred, use them only in emergency. Or after ya score, smoke it, just to feel that relief of the health pipe. Man, that's addicting!

A good trick I learned recently was as I was being followed by an opponent I dropped 'nades in front of me and as he came close to shoot me I  turned and jumped behind the 'nades I had dropped and kicked them at him. Blew him to bits. Now that was funny shit. He never saw it coming.

Also when it comes to jumping, if ya move forward, jump once and crouch twice quick as you can; that gets ya a higher jump so ya can get up onto buildings and roofs. This takes alot of practice but it can be mastered.

Set 'nades up at the corners of the door entrances. That way when someone is coming in at ya, you can shoot the nades and blow them up along with the enemy.

Watch those 'nade traps since they are easy to miss and will get ya every time. Rockets are very useful for blowing up any 'nade traps in your way.

Finally, the hardest strategy of all, especially being female, is the trash talk players get. It is discouraging as all hell. But hang in there and take it. One day that trash talker may be the one swallowing your bullets. Now that is exhilarating. And remember if they are talking trash to you, it is probably because they fear you will pwn them. And for some of us Bitches With Attitude, we do a damn good job at pwning. The more trash ya talk to us the more it just makes us want to come back harder.

Feel free to join my server .::BWA::. Bitchin Game Server for some MP action. I allow spectators as well so ya can follow players around and get some ideas on how the game is played. There is a PASS word. Ask around for the PASS word. If ya haven't figured it out by now!!!

Oh and also I recommend taking a piss before ya start to play because this damn game is piss funny, but ya don't wanna piss yaself with laughter in the middle of a battle.

Go Fuckin Postal!