Postal Nation

To celebrate our special Extreme Sports issue, we decided to sit down with the four most recent additions to Running With Scissors' stable of sponsored mixed martial arts (MMA) fighters (the fourth member being Drew "The Master" Fickett, our very first sponsored MMA fighter who battled his way up from small-time venues in the Southwest to a solid position in the UFC) and discuss the hybrid competition that has become among the most popular attractions in the world of sports.

Until the Ultimate Fighting Championship PPVs began airing in the early '90s, the debate had been a staple of barroom rhetoric for decades. Could a top wrestler stop an equally skilled boxer? What chance would a 190 lb. freestyle wrestler stand against a 400 lb. sumo?

The speculation grew even more intense when a kick boxer sent the bicuspid of a sumo wrestler approximately three times his size into the fifth row at an early UFC PPV as a prelude to a shocking, no-contest victory. Then, in those early main events, the normal-sized Royce Gracie, son of the man who invented what came to be known as the "Gracie style" of Brazilian jiu-jitsu, choked out one massively-muscled kick boxer or martial artist after another, the light dawned.

No single style of fighting would prove dominant in this brave new world of martial arts. Instead, the top wrestlers soon became as skilled at throwing kicks and punches as they were grappling on the mat, locking their opponent against the steel mesh cage of the fabled UFC octagon while they waited for him to tap out. Conversely, the boxers, kick boxers and pit fighters (a nice name for "brawlers") learned that while waiting to land that one perfect blow, or even begin a flurry of kicks and/or punches, very bad things could happen to them. Soon, the stand-up fighters were training as intensively with grapplers and submission experts as they were working the speed bag or running laps.

This series of interviews will give you a pretty good idea of what the world of MMA demands of its participants. And we believe that each of our RWS-sponsored fighters serve as more than just promotional vehicles. These are men – and one outstanding woman – who go in there, frequently against the odds, and keep fighting with an inspirational spirit that is nothing short of remarkable.

They are also great company, engaging conversationalists and fascinating companions to share a meal with – as RWS did during the holidays down in Tucson where we got to meet several of these tough guys in person.

–The Gimp

SHANE JOHNSON (Light Heavyweight)

Shane Johnson, at 218 lbs., looks like the kind of guy who could ride a chopper down a dusty Southwestern street, walk into a bar, down a beer then beat up any man in the house and ride off with any woman. Instead, when he isn't training in the constellation of martial arts – jiu-jitsu, kick boxing, grappling – one must master in order to reach the top of the Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) world, he's engaged in an extremely delicate pursuit.

An expert at the art of auto glass replacement, Shane recently opened his own shop, appropriately dubbed Crystal Auto Glass Enterprises ("CAGE," get it?). But his mind is never far from the fight and he can frequently be found boxing and training down in the Tucson dojo with Chad Griggs and Drew Fickett . He's also got the date for his next fight – March 17 th at the St. Patrick 's TFA show in Carson , near L.A. – but no opponent. Like most of the young MMA fighters, Shane lives in a world where he may be called on to fight somebody with only days notice and no access to film of his new opponent's previous fights.

"You want to study your opponent," Shane admits. "Anybody can be beaten if you can take them out of their game. We start fighting and the other guy's standing up and I'm on my back, I'll shoot up for a knee bar – which puts my head straight on the ground. I fight from all different positions. It's kind of like controlled chaos."

Shane has an interesting perspective on training – he never spars exclusively with grapplers, boxers or any practitioner of a single discipline. "I won't wrestle; I never have. It just teaches you bad habits. You can only work with me if you're a mixed martial artist, cause I'm gonna go for knees, I'm gonna finish you any way I can. Unless I do boxing, and even then it's tough not to kick, but I limit myself to that. I try to train in a pattern. We start boxing, then we throw kicks and we try to take one another to the ground, go from punching to kicking to shooting to being on the ground to submission."

While he acknowledges that there are not yet enough coaches who are sufficiently skilled in all the disciplines, he knows that time is coming. "Guys like myself and the people we're training with, we'll be the coaches of the future. We're creating something new here, but it's a beautiful sport."

"King of the Cage has talked to us a little bit but we're going to stick with Total Fighting Alliance (TFA) at this point," he told us, with just a trace of indecision. "I kinda like fighting here in Tucson ," he laughed. "You get the home crowd and no travel. That's pretty rare." Next fight is on that group's St. Patrick 's brawl on 2/17, but he isn't altogether sure of his weight division.

"I actually won the Super-Heavyweight title last December 10, but I'm a light heavyweight. I sure know I captured one of them." Weight classes are pretty standard among MMA groups, with the local boxing commission applying the weight standards. Still, the regional differences can create some real problems in that the heavyweight range is surprisingly large. "Usually 190 to 205 is light heavy, but this is where it varies; sometimes heavyweight starts at 205 but it can also start at 210 and go all the way to 265 lbs. Anybody over 265 is a Super Heavyweight." Being right on the dividing line at around 215, Shane can find himself facing light heavies or heavies, who could leave him outweighed by as much as 50 lbs.

"I'm a fighter every day," he says proudly.

His pick on the upcoming Couture-Liddell Fight: "Liddell, cause he knows how to win right now. But you can't take anything away from Randy because he's definitely prepared. Olympic wrestler, he has plenty of fighting knowledge, but I think Liddell wants it more."

HAYLEY "THE HAMMER" SALAZAR (Flyweight)

The only female member of our sponsored MMA team, Hayley the Hammer's biggest problem is finding other women willing to fight her. Apparently, seeing "Million Dollar Baby" has made the illusion of female fisticuffs less glamorous, and given the beating Hayley handed to her first opponent, there haven't exactly been female fighters lining up to give her a go.

Hayley started on the road to the fighting life simply as a matter of fitness. "I just wanted to get into shape, then I started sparring and then I started fighting and I liked it. So I continued." After approximately two-and-a-half years, she had her first pro fight late last year and knocked out her opponent with ease.

But she worries that there may not be enough quality opponents to develop interest in female MMA. "That's my biggest problem right now, trying to find a match. They're few and far between. But I believe this sport is growing and I hope that the number of women participants will also rise. I know that female boxing has enjoyed some growth, but when it comes to cage fighting, it takes a certain kind of person to actually step into that cage and fight full-contact."

At an ideal fighting weight of 110 lbs. Hayley employs the usual variety of coaches to train in different disciplines. She works out with guys named "Rocco" and " Joey ," fighters with real skills who are well-versed in stand-up as well as Pankration-style grappling. (Back before the Olympic Committee raffled off the rights to everything from T-shirts to "The Official Fuzzy Handcuffs of the 2006 Olympic Games", the Pankration, a real hardass combination of boxing and wrestling, was among the most popular events at the Olympics. In the early 90s, a Japanese "shoot" group – the wrestling term for legit fighting – called Pancrase became the springboard to stardom for a tough, young Ken Shamrock.). Hayley's also apt to spar with other RWS team members, such as Ed West and Shane Johnson . "I always train with guys," she laughs.

Right now, Hayley rates her stand-up fighting as her top skill but is getting heavily into ground work and submissions, training at least five days a week with her husband – who she met – where else? – at a kick boxing gym.

CHAD GRIGGS (Heavyweight)

Big Chad Griggs loves to talk MMA even more than he enjoys talking about himself. The product of a strict training regimen that includes a minimum three days a week of weight and wrestling training. Asked about his primary skills, he responds: "If you'd asked me that question a couple of months ago, I would have said that I was basically a ground fighter, a ground and pound type, but I've really been working hard on my stand-up lately."

The six foot tall, 230 lb. Tucson Destruction Machine is another regular with the Total Fighting Alliance and when asked who his ideal Opponent was he started reflecting on the changes in the MMA game since the early 90s when its was karate men vs. boxers and wrestlers vs. pit fighters. "I'd like to get somebody like Tank Abbott, who can still throw bombs but who never learned the ground game. You always want to take out a big name."

Speaking of legends, Chad doesn't believe that the ballyhooed Royce Gracie vs. Matt Hughes fight will actually take place. If it does, he seems to share a somewhat universal opinion that Hughes will destroy the legendary but aging Gracie . "When UFC started," Chad said of the famous scion of the Gracie clan, "he knew a style of fighting that could take out everybody. But by now, everybody's learned that same trick. I just don't believe this fight will happen."

For now, Chad 's next fight is against an opponent yet-to-be-named on the St. Patrick 's Day TFA show.

His pick on Couture-Liddel 3: "Liddell. It'll be a chess match, but Liddell is better at stand-up and Randy takes chances and leaves himself open."

ED WEST (Lightweight)

Between teaching grappling and working out between four and five times a week (not counting three nights a week pumping the weights) and maintaining strict control over his diet, Ed West devotes almost all his free time to training for the cage. Not that this makes him unusual in the world of MMA, where coaches in a variety of techniques and an almost religious devotion to physical fitness and training in the various forms of martial arts is a virtual requirement. "I stay away from soda, fast food, all that crap; I take lots of vitamins and protein supplements every morning." He's not kidding: "I take multi-vitamins, extra Vitamin C, fish oil, glutamines, B-12, amino acids. I'm also a juicer – I juice the hell out of everything. I don't always have time to eat all the vegetables and protein I'd like, so I juice. The only things you DON'T want to juice are garlic and onions," he advised. "Because you will never get the smell out."

Ed boasts that he can take a fight now with a month's notice. "I'm in pretty decent shape – I have no girlfriend so I'm ready to go?" And who is he ready to go against? He certainly isn't coy on the subject. "I want Del Hawkins . I tell everybody that. I think he's the Bantamweight Champion and he's got a lot of experience, but I can beat him."

Unlike sports such as baseball, where the goal is to make the mechanics of a play completely intuitive, the almost infinite number of ways in which each move in MMA can lead to you tapping the mat within a matter of seconds, a fighter's mind has to be razor sharp. "I compare it to human chess. Technique is all technique, no matter what you're doing, whether you're throwing a ball or throwing an armbar, your body will remember how to execute the technique. But there's strategy involved, tons of strategy; more than in any other sport, because the way you fight a fighter will make a huge difference in the outcome. If I'm fighting like a K-1, blang-bang Ludwig type dude I'm not gonna stand with him! I'm gonna take him down and try to submit him cause I don't want to get knocked. Maybe he'd of cut me or hit me or whatever, but if I take him down I exploit his weaknesses and win the fight."

Ed knows that matching up in style is the key to success in the MMA world. It's no longer an easy thing to keep a talented ground fighter from taking a striker off his feet. "The only time you see two guys just throwing in there is because they both want it that way," Ed testifies. "All the guys who are known as good strikers, like Vanderlai Silva, Chuck Liddell , all the guys who are known as knockout artists are also exceptional on the ground. Silva has a black belt in jiu-jitsu, Chuck Liddell wrestled for years and is actually very good at submissions – and Cro-Cop, too, who kicked everybody in the head is very good on the ground, or else they would fall victim to a Royce Gracie type.

Ed West is not a big fan of Royce Gracie stated that he did not believe that the advertised match between Gracie and Matt Hughes will not happen. "The last time [ Gracie ] fought in Pride, he got killed. It's athletic suicide. And if he does fight Hughes, I'll give him props because he's got balls – the guy's 38-39 – but he never fought anybody who knew jiu-jitsu, so he beat all these wrestlers and kick boxers. I think Royce is a little behind the times."

Someone Ed does admire from UFC Old School is Ken Shamrock . "He's still competing at a world-class level at that age and any dude who can fight at that level at that age is amazing. Look at Randy Couture , he's damn near 42-43 years old. He's killed guys 10 to 15 years his junior."

His prediction for the Couture-Liddell Fight: "Couture. I think if he takes Liddell down and pounds him, he'll kill Chuck . You don't fight the other fighter's game." On the other hand, Ed also recalls a match he called a "blueprint for defeating Chuck Liddell ." It was a Pride match in which Quinton "Rampage" Jackson came out and "just started throwing bombs. And Chuck started getting timid, like in the first Couture fight. But I think Randy can beat him."

POSTAL LEAGUE NEWS

BitchAss Mofo reports that the Postal League is back in full swing after a Xmas (bah humbug) and New Year's break. Here's the story straight outa Mofo:

This is the final month of the Snatch games; next month will wrap up TDM games, and then playoffs the first couple weeks of March in order to decide the Season 2 Championship.

These are the current standings for all the teams:

Snatch

EB  3-2
BAMF 4-1
HED 5-0
BOD 4-1
DKT 2-4
BL  2-4
BWA 0-4
MH  0-4


TDM

EB 2-2
BAMF 3-1
HED 3-1
BOD 3-1
DKT 3-1
BL 0-4
BWA 0-4
MH 1-3

MH has quit due to not being able to get anyone to show up for matches
but the other seven teams are still playing.

Mike J in Extreme Athletic Action: 'Cause that's the way he bowls, yo!

Look, he still has his wristband from rehab!

There are those who may debate as to whether bowling is a "real" sport. Well, whichever way you swing on that one, you gotta admit that it certainly is when Mike J plays it. -And to think we always thought he had one arm bigger than the other due to spanking 'Lil Mikey too much...

No shit! Mike J WILL bowl the fuck out of you! Click the image for proof!

Vince will be doing an interview Wednesday, February 1 at http://www.egln.net/ . Meanwhile, for those who just can't wait, here's one conducted by Ralf Strugale (for THE DUDE MAGAZIN and www.postal-world.de.vu ):

Q: How old are you and where/when were you born? (only if you want to answer ;-)) 

A: I'm 52, I was born in  Brooklyn , New York .

Q: Can you describe your childhood and the first years of your work as a teen ager.

A: I attended Catholic school for 12 years.  I grew up during the 60's, very racist times; back then I was like a hippie. My first legal job was as a messenger in New York City in the advertising business.

Q: Are you satisfied with your work with RWS? 

A: Very satisfied, I am very lucky.

Q: If you weren't CEO of RWS, what kind of work do you think you'd be doing?

A: Honestly, I have no idea. I love animals and girls, so maybe the porn industry.

Q: How many members are there on the RWS Team? Not only the programmers etc. …

A: RWS started in 1997, over the years there have been about 50 of us who have contributed in some way, from designing the games to the website, to marketing.

Q: What car do you drive? Do you like Mercedes / BMW / Porsche ? Whats your favorite Type?

A: I really like limos.  I have an Infiniti Q45. I hated my last car, a Lexus; before that I had a E300, Mercedes.

Q: What is your favorite movie? Horror / Crime / Comedy?

A: " Casablanca " and "The Godfather."

Q: How long do you work a day?

A: I usually get to the office by 9:30 am and leave by 6 pm , but I get online from my house as early as 5:30 am .

Q: Last question: Why is the shipping cost to Europe of the RWS Store so high?

A: That's for using Federal Express, or UPS overnight; we don't make any money on shipping,  It's actually much cheaper if you want to use regular US Post Office, but then it can take a few weeks, and there is no way to track your order.

Q: Thanks for the answers and greetings to the USA ;-)

A: Same to you, and everyone in Postal Land .

Ralf Strugale , who just completed an interview with Vince , had a chat recently with Uwe Boll on www.blairwitch.de . "We talked a lot of the Postal movie," he reports. He also has a new domain for Postal World -- www.postal-world.de with .de instead of .de.vu. And if English is your primary language, Shannon Newman offers the pleasures of http://postalprojects.theoagh.com/.

A POSTAL Rant by Alex D

Hey RWS !

Before I go on vacation, here's my well thought out review. People out there keep complaining, it's time to shut them up with all the reasons why POSTAL is among the best.

SO HERE'S HOW I ADDRESS THE AUDIENCE:

Hey people, this is the best violence+humour game ever. Forget that boring GTA crap. GTA gives you no feeling of disturbance or suspense whatsoever. And GTA is third person - the developers should be beaten up for that. Honestly, I was about to buy it 'cause a lot of my friends like it, but when I looked on its back cover, it reminded me of a Barbie cartoon. I am serious.

If you are looking for a game that you can associate with, a game that you can actually get something out of, and a game that delivers in every f*ckin' way you can imagine, then POSTAL 2 is the game you're looking for. And don't listen to other whiney reviewers who gripe about loading times and graphics; my copy of POSTAL has the fastest loading time in the history of FPS games with decent maps. Graphics are so good that you can read almost all signs, and when you slice a person in half with a scythe (that's in the add-on), you can see every single part of their guts and other fallen-out organs in great detail (personal tip: zoom in on a person's wound with the sniper rifle, you'll see how good the graphics are). AND SET YOUR GRAPHICS TO THE HIGHEST, DUUUUUH!!!! Any NORMAL computer can run the game with all the settings up top.

Forget the plot line! People complain that POSTAL doesn't have one; well, it does, only a VERY LIBERAL one - almost like YOU are creating the storyline yourself.

POSTAL gets boring with time? Every single game does, unless you are addicted to it due to your psychological issues. Trust me; you'll drool over any game once, then you'll forget it exists... and then you'll bump into it years later in your attic, and the desire will once again return.

Is POSTAL too sick and insulting for you? Well too bad, 'cause then you are probably a sensitive little sissy who is too retarded to distinguish between images in a computer screen and reality.

All my friends that didn't know this game or thought it was bad started liking it after I introduced them to it. One of them even ran off to get a new copy 'cause he gave the old one away. POSTAL is irresistible and is worth every single cent they ask for it (I'd ask $100 instead of $50 just because it is one of the best).

And don't say that it's just my copy that's flawless; there is no Magick CD Fairy.
C'mon, I dare you all! Are you tough and mature enough to play this well-developed, highly entertaining game? Or are you gonna blame its political incorrectness 'cause you just want to lick your society's ass for the rest of your life?

[end of rant]

VINCE Interview Redux

If you haven't gotten enough of Vince 's interviews – and who ever really does? – then check in at http://gaming.hexus.net/content/item.php?item=4461 for Vince's chat with Steven Williamson .

The Kyle Ragland Saga (All Rights Reserved*)

*Kyle Ragland is TM & © Mrs. Ragland.

It all started with a lonely little boy who wanted to mooch a copy of POSTAL 2 in the worst possible way. So he used the Birthday ploy, sending the following email to Vince :

"My name is Kyle and I'm a Postal 2 Addict. I love the freakin game. Ever since I saw it at my bud's house I had to have it. I could never find it at any stores and I almost gave up, till I got smart and checked your web-site, very nice by the way. I ordered the game and A RWS street sign, which sits nicely on the outside of my bedroom door. My birthday is coming up soon and i was wondering if you felt gracious. I would love to play the Postal 2: Apocalypse Weekend expansion but I recently had to cancel my credit card and have no way of getting the game. If you are in the giving mood, perhaps you could spare a copy for me on my Birth-day, which is the 15th of January, I will be 22. If so my address will follow!"

Vince , being Vince , was enchanted by the little huckster and sent the following response:

"Happy Bday!

"Tell u what, send me a pic of you and the RWS sign, and I'll see to it to get you a gift :)"

Kyle was as good as his word and Vince as good as his. It all wrapped nicely with this last email from Kyle , who learned that not only was he getting a game, but his picture (with sign) would appear in this very newsletter:

" Dude!!

"Thanks for the opportunity to be a part of your newsletter. Now everyone will know who's your biggest fan!! All the others will only be jealous. Thanks a bunch."

Sometimes, just sometimes, we can really break your heart, can't we?

--The Gimp

POSTAL League Sites:
BitchAssMotherFuckers http://www.bitchassmofos.com
Elite Bastards   http://www.elitebastard.com
Hell's Evil Death  http://hellsevildeath.com/index.html
M@DHeadz   http://www.madheadz.net.tc/
Brainless Lunatics   http://www.freewebs.com/brainleslunatics/index.htm
The Darklight Team  http://www.darklight.wb.st/
Bitches With Attitudes  http://www.freewebs.com/bitches-with-attitude/
Bringers of Doom  http://purepostal.com/forums/index.php

And that's all for this month. Remember, it's even more fun if you participate! So send us something cool, dammit!