Postal Nation

POSTAL Art, Fanmail, Photos, a Russian Blog and... Ron Jeremy??

"Music To Go Postal By" Ready to Roll
It’s a project that was actually spawned right here, where fans and musicians alike lobbied like Jack Abramoff on crank to support a collection of songs inspired by the POSTAL games recorded and compiled in CD form.

And, over the past year, we have followed your mandate and assembled over a dozen tracks comprising “Music to Go Postal By”, currently available at our online store.  The international assembly of artists include Sweden’s Machine Supremacy, the Russian group Brizgy, Chiraw from the wonderful Netherlands, Ph8, Blynd, Jade Wing, Simplekill, No One’s Kind, Jesus Loves Junkies, Ricochet Biscuit, DJ Crazy, Rachel Immerman and famed “Videogame Pianist” Martin Leung.

As the first of what we hope will be many future musical compilations by musically adroit fans under the influence of the POSTAL games we hope you’ll check it out.  Between this CD and the Postal Fudge Pack, we’ve got stocking stuffers covered this Christmas.

Fudge-model Mike J is ready to stuff your stocking...

Help Our Pal Gareth and Maybe Win Something
C'mon Scrooge McJerk, put forth a little holiday charity, save your soul and win big prizes! Okay, maybe not-so-big prizes, and we really can't gurantee that soul thing, but you'll probably feel better about yourself helping someone else for once. It seems Longtime Postal fan Gareth is in talks with this Seattle radio station to do a show. Meanwhile, the station's website has a deal where if you can get 150 people to join the incredibly homo-sounding "BJ Shea's H-Hole Army," you get free studio time. Gareth figures if negotiations go south with the station, he can use the free studio time to audition anyway! -Just the kind of subversive action we love here at RWS!

So here's what you do: go to the site and sign up your name and email address and mention that Gareth McBride sent you. Too easy! Gareth promises to hand out prizes including DVDs and Postal Fudge Packs to random lucky recruits who sign up!

Fans Crave Interview with the Postal Dude Himself
You’ve demanded it and, with our first 2007 issue, we will do our best to make you happy.  In addition to some major changes that we’ve been contemplating for some time with regard to this online publication, we hope to launch 2007 with Your Most Consistently Requested Interview – a chat with Rick Hunter, the voice of the Postal Dude himself.

The latest request came from Bjorn who wrote:

“I wondered if it wouldn't be a cool idea to run a feature about Rick Hunter? I know he was already covered in the Dude Origins thing a while back, but if there's one thing about POSTAL (apart from the over-the-top ludicrous absurdity which tickles my funny bone yes thank you very much you want fries with that?) that really sticks to ya like, like...very sticky things, it's the Dude's voice, dontchathink? I'm not sure if Mister Dude would "work" as well as he does without the talent of Mister Hunter and his growling singsong-fuck-me-sideways-sign-my-petition-dammit timbre. It's also fun to emulate, you can take my word on that –  especially when ya look like a beefier version of the Dude anyway

Anyway, long story short: gimme some lengthier Rick Hunter interview thingie thing, pretty please with sugar on top (it's probably bad for the arteries, but WTF, eh?).”

“We may need to mount a safari,” admitted Running With Scissors CEO Vince Desi, “but one way or another, we’ll track Rick down and get him to speak with us.”

We may even be able to present the interview as a voice file so you can actually hear the words spoken by the man who speaks for the PDude.  So make it your business to anxiously await the coming of the new year and a new RWS publication to go with it.

RWS Fans Fanatical Over POSTAL III Announcement
Following the formal announcement that POSTAL III has now received the official green light, POSTAL fans around the world have not only gushed with joy (and other things), but with suggestions for celebrity guest stars they’d like to see appear in the next major chapter in the long-running series.  For example, Joe Rickets would like to see the porn world’s “Hedgehog” Ron Jeremy (everybody who thought we were going to say “Sonic” slap yourself in the puss) turn in a cameo, adding: “I think a battle between Jeremy and Gary Coleman would rock!”

Since we are just now in the process of selecting the guest stars for the third major installment in the series, feel free to contribute any suggestions you may have on the subject to gamedoctorkunkel@gopostal.com and we'll see what happens.

Steve Wicked Spills His Guts
Anyone interested in POSTAL III (and somehow we’ve got to feel there are a few of you out there) will NOT want to miss an impressively detailed look at the game’s designer, “Wicked” Steve Wik.  Don’t blame us if you forget to visit the Inside Mac Games site for a fascinating three-page interview with the mind behind the Postal Dude.

POSTAL Arts & Crafts
We’ve got several interesting pieces for you this issue, including this… offbeat tableau from Casanova Philippe, which he describes as “fantasy art” inspired by POSTAL…

Next up, a little bit of rude cat shadow fun from FloB in France:

Then we have a poster which Trent Martin sent to Uwe Boll and Uwe was good enough to share with us…

...And Biohazardous Snark's more faithful version:

From Russia with Love and Vodka
RWS was back in Moscow to raise hell, chew bubble gum and sign autographs at the IGRO game expo.  Find out everything you ever wanted to know about life on the road as our own MikeJ discourses on everything from life without sleep to the poor quality of Russian teepee (for his bung hole) at his myspace blog.

Russian game journalist Nazarenko Yuri takes a break
from trying to teach Mike how to correctly pronounce his name

Letters, Blogs & Sites From the Postal Nation
Marcus “Warcus” Pantel writes from Germany:
A few minutes ago a political TV show here in Germany ended.  It [featured] Ralf Moeller, one of the actors in the POSTAL Movie.

I am very upset and do you know why?

Moeller argued for banning violent computer games like POSTAL, [stating]:
“These chainsaw games have to be banned!”

What the hell [is] this bastard [doing[ in the Postal Movie?  This pretender has to be kicked [off] the Project!  It’s a shame and a slap in all of our faces!  The German government is already strict enough!  In Germany, everything that’s fun is forbidden.

RWS RESPONDS:  Well, it’s too late now to throw anyone off the film since the POSTAL movie was filmed in Vancouver last month and will be in post-production until sometime next year.  It is interesting to note, however, that Ralfy didn’t feel strongly enough about the subject to speak out before cashing his paycheck.  Sorry things are so uptight in Germany – after more than half a century, I think maybe your country could get off its collective politically correct guilt trip and have some fun.  Go ahead, Germany, touch Dieter’s monkey!

Chris Maher writes:
[The announcement of POSTAL III] is the best news I’ve ever heard. I was taking a hit of my bong when I read there was going to be a POSTAL 3. Needless to say, I’ve been cleaning bongwater and resin off my computer ever since. HOLY SHIT DUDE, you’re finally going to do it. The world needs this, everyone needs this and not only that – you’re going to give it to dudes with the Xbox 360s, too. This is great; you guys were the original violent, gun toting crazy fucks, and now the mainstream will know, too.
All I can say is: Please keep it in Arizona. I’ve been forced to live in this godforsaken state for 12 years and [it’s a great locale for mayhem].

A Cheat-Crazy Bomber writes:
I’m a big cheating fan – I think that they bring a breath of new life into games. The Xbox 360 has achievement points [but] most games don't [use] them.  Will POSTAL III have them? I love the cheats that you had in the other POSTAL games; please don’t take them out.

VINCE RESPONDS: Cheating is a way of life, my friend. Where would games be without tips, tricks and cheats? Have no fear, we will continue to find ways to expand our holy Postality, using cheats for sure. You can even read an interview with me in the January issue of Tips & Tricks magazine – which, by the way, is now covering computer as well as video games – in the “Games on Film” column.

Rick Gauger writes:
I just heard about POSTAL III, Vince. Congratulations and good fortune, and I hope it makes you a billionaire.

I hear you asking yourself: “Who the fuck is this?” I'm nobody, just a fan who's been following your career since the first Postal. I've dealt with the Vince [character] in POSTAL II so much I feel like I know you. And thanks for giving my sister a position.

I love it that you're still making old-fashioned games. Games today have gotten 'way too slick and commercial. They're good, but I miss the satiric edge they used to have. Best example of this is the difference between Stronghold 1 and Stronghold 2. The first one has the edge, the second one doesn't, and the second one also has a namby-pamby anime-looking character on the cover, instead of a real medieval Baron! Bleh!
I just sent your press release to my daughter Eliza Gauger, who writes for Kotaku.  It's the best I can do.

VINCE RESPONDS: Thanks for the kind email, it really is the best part of my job to read and answer mail from folks like you.
I know what you mean re the state of games. I was just in a discussion the other day about Scarface, Saints Row, GTA cloning, etc, and they simply don’t get it… games are games, not Bible study or films, or research for a PhD
To me a game is something you play, you win, you lose, and hopefully you like it enough that you want to play again, and it should always be fun, not terribly serious.

And that's a wrap for this issue. We want to thank everyone who contributed to this Very Special Holiday Episode of the RWS Newsletter – you send 'em and we'll print 'em. In the meantime, we'll be back in a month or so with more news on POSTAL 3, the POSTAL movie, the POSTAL Babes, Music to Go Postal By and so many other projects that Vince had to send me a long list in order to keep track of them!

POSTAL League Sites:
Elite Bastards   http://www.purepostal.com/EB
The Darklight Team  http://www.darklight.wb.st/
Bitches With Attitude  http://www.bitcheswithattitude.net/Site/
Bringers of Doom  http://purepostal.com/forums/index.php
The Postal 2 TL (taking lives) Clan http://www.takinglives-clan.nl/
The Postal 2 PK (postal killers) Clan http://www.postal-killers.de/
The Postal 2 DK (dark light team) Clan http://www.darklight.wb.st/

And that's all for this month. Remember, it's even more fun if you participate! So send us something cool, dammit!