POSTAL BULLETS
News From The Postal Underworld
 LEGO My Postal 2!
We've long maintained that POSTAL2 has the most dedicated, creative fans in the world. Well, right up there at the top of the list is Germany's Pascal Schneider, who produced the wildly popular POSTAL3 – The Movie, which we wrote about in a previous issue.
This time, however, Pascal has topped himself. His current film is a POSTAL2 pastiche – rendered entirely in Legos and it had the POSTAL crew rolling on the floor.
You can check it out at: http://www.chainworm.de/gallery/videos/postal_lego.zip or when Pascal's web account is inevitably revoked due to excessive traffic, try HERE instead.
Pascal apologizes for the somewhat shaky camerawork but we were too busy laughing to notice. He's also invited us to add the film to our site the better to preserve it for all time. Great stuff, man, what's next? There's a great show over here on cable called "Robot Chicken" that animates action figures. Ah, but I shouldn't be tainting the creative canvas of the mast of Postal-based mini-movies. Whatever you come up with next, Pascal, we'll be watching (German filmmakers rule).
A world where Postal 2 gets good reviews? It's a madhouse! A MAADHOUSSE!!
At Tech-mods.net where they apparently review the future, Wayne Ihamaki is clearly running amok. I quote: "If you can remember how outrageous a chainsaw was in Doom, that's what this game is like only 100 times more outrageous." Yeah. 100 TIMES, beyotch. Take THAT mister "I AM a rocket scientist, actually" Carmack and "Is my hair all good?" Romero. We RULE.
'Nuff said.
Straight Eye for the Queer Guy...
Postal2 Mod Master L7 reports an interesting thread at the UT site. It seems he has successfully ported the Postal Babes into UT2004! One step closer to world domination... Soon Cliffy will be my bitch... muahahahahahaaaa:
http://www.ataricommunity.com/forums/showthread.php?s=3b44d2612eaacf329c527022353a3c6b&threadid=492321
Downloads are available at:
http://www.noobed.com/postalbabes
L7 writes: I have been modding UT2004 for awhile now. I just got POSTAL2 and AW about a month ago, and it's the first UT engine game besides the actual UT and UT2004 that I really like. I saw that a Snatch/CTF mod was in the works. I wrote up a little Postal Babes mutator for UT2004 that adds the party for the winner—smoke, lights, and most importantly the Babes. Normally in UT2004, everyone just sits and looks at the winner. Anyhow, just wondered if it's cool to let others download it. I know how the intellectual property goes, so either way. If I can, than I'll polish it up and test it a bit more. If not, then I guess I've got the world's only UT2004 Postal Babes mutator.
Additional screenshots are available at:
http://www.noobed.com/postalbabes/screens/
It's a Mod, Mod World
http://web2.gopostal.com/cgi-bin/ib3/ikonboard.cgi?s=ad37dec68a9ad8d115572f5b6078eceb;act=ST;f=3;t=16665
Tim Wambolt has a "Killer Biller" of an Apocalypse Weekend user map! Be sure and drop by the Mods section on the Official Postal Message Boards, Tim's lonely...
Download your very own copy right HERE.
Yo, You Want Some Cream With That?
Thanks to Wojtek666down, Postal has even managed to piss in GTA: San Andreas' hot coffee... Nice work!
http://web2.gopostal.com/cgi-bin/ib3/ikonboard.cgi?s=b4ca8e83eff1f9675f6c9e63f83fe520;act=ST;f=1;t=16458
Man, thass some badass Health Pipe, yo.
Where'm I at an' shit?
I gots to be firs in line fo Pocalypse Weekent...
Vince Desi "Plays the Bad Guy"
John Callaham reports that his feature article "Playing As the Bad Guy: Game Developers Sound Off" featuring astute commentary courtesy of Vince the Postal Prince is now up at Gamecloud. John writes: "With politicans and others taking shots at games that allow the player to do things that law abiding citizens would not do in real life we decided to see how game developers feel about playing as the villain. Epic's Cliff Bleszinski , 3D Realms' Scott Miller , Running With Scissors' Vince Desi , Gearbox Software's Randy Pitchford and others give their views on this issue."
We Are The World...
Today: France , Germany , the Netherlands , the Benelux countries, Portugal , Russia , Sweden and North America … Tomorrow: Whatever's left of the world…
The mass-movement to translate this fine, upstanding newsletter into as many languages as possible has been seized with a mad gusto by pockets of Postalmania all over the world.
Word arrives virtually two or three times a week announcing a new edition somewhere in the world. Ouamdu Ouamdu offers a Gallic slant on The Urinal at http://postalfr.tonsite.biz/forum_viewtopic.php?11.4776 and tells us that readers contributed 18 different suggestions for an appropriate translation of our newsletter's title. And check out the last message – "o/ Ce mec est un dieu (Vince desi)" which translates as "This guy [Vince Desi] is a god." Way to go, Ouamdu (hope you don't mind my using your first name; we Yanks are very casual).
The Italian version is also an outstanding job, courtesy of Manuel Marino , who posts his Urinal at http://www.marinosounds.com/RWS_Newsletter/August2005.htm .
And of course our Portuguese fans can find Postal Pedro's handiwork at http://www.postalnetwork.org/urinol/05/Agosto/ .
Finally, what would the world be like without a Dutch edition of The Urinal. Fortunately, Danny Dam Wichers from GamersNet just dropped us an email and a zipped file showing that our fearless Dutch Boy had indeed stuck his finger in a dyke and come up smiling with a beautiful version of The Urinal.
It's becoming difficult to keep up with all the international action, Postal Babies, but we're doing our best – as are our fans the world over.
Seeing the POSTAL Sites
Here's an arbitrary list of POSTAL-related sites presented in no particular order:
* To see some new zombie images from the Eternal Damnation Mod check out http://resurrection-studios.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=449
* http://www.freewebs.com/postalaw/thepostalworld.htm has a new Share The Pain review up.
* http://postalfr.tonsite.biz/news.php French Postal forums. Parlez des machettes de boomerang en Français!
Le' W00T!
* The new URL for the Bitches With Attitude forums is: http://purepostal.com/forums/viewforum.php?f=26 go chat with the Grrlz that WILL kick your sorry ass.
*http://moddb.com/ Your one-stop shop for all things Mod related.
* www.postalnetwork.org The first and greatest Postal portal!
* http://www.resurrection-studios.com/ Home of the Eternal Damnation Mod project.
* http://elitebastard.com/kamek/ Kamek's batcave of Postal Moddery. Loads of cool stuff for multiplayer Postal!
* http://www.bitchassmofos.com/ BAMF's multiplayer Postal Clan
* http://postal2.tk/ Looks like a store page, smells like a store page, but under the brazen attempt to sell you Share The Pain are links to free multiplayer maps and other Postal-related goodness!
* http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=15229050&Mytoken=20050728120705 Ever wonder what The Dude's friends are like? Well, you can meet 27 of them right here.
* http://www.freewebs.com/bitches-with-attitude/index.htm The old Bitches With Attitude site with really awful LOUD midi music on it. They will taunt you a second time and kick your ear's ass!
* http://www.geocities.com/hellchild1989/home2.htm Another Postal fan sharing his pain. Quick, check out his Postal cartoons for some extra Deep Hurting before he does something crazy...
And that wraps us up for this month. Be here next time when The Urinal once again celebrates... er... whatever the hell it is we decide to celebrate next month...
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