Roll Up! It's the Ultimate Parade of Postal Babes – and Bitches with Postal Dude @titude!

By The Gimp

The Postal Babe has evolved from a marginal character concept to become an iconic element of the POSTAL Mythos. The Babes are featured in mini-games such as "Snatch" and comprise a significant segment of this very newsletter each issue. That means our fans really like seeing pictures of hot-looking ladies, especially when they're wearing scanty POSTAL gear. -But then, you'd have to be blind, retarded or a cast member on Queer Eye NOT to!

The origin of the Postal Babes is somewhat shrouded in mystery and basted neurons. The crack-addled memory of designer Steve Wik could only come up with the vague recollection that they somehow made their debut in P2, dancing around the winner in the Share The Pain deathmatch and serving as the "prize" in Snatch. Later they played a pivotal role in The Dude's coma-induced dream sequence in Apocalypse Weekend.

But the Babes had actually existed long before they first appeared in the game world. Here's how Vince himself describes it: "This was the launch for P2, we had Gary [Coleman], so I got three models, we made baby Ts and thongs (sorry no pics, they were all taken by a photographer who then wanted ownership, so I told him to go fuck off).

"It went over great; on the first day we went right to the MS booth. I had Gary there and the camera flashes wouldn't stop; I honestly estimate that over 5,000 photos were taken at the show), the crowds were 10 deep. Then I gave the girls a signal and they unzipped their tight jeans to show the Postal thongs and the place was insane.

"By Day 2, we were formally warned that EA, Vivendi and a couple other companies had filed complaints against us, and we could not perform a repeat, as they gave me official warning that I would be removed and arrested if I tried it again.

"So I made a deal with the head of security, gave him games for his children and some Postal gear. We even wound up taking pics with him and the Babes. Anyway, that was the first public appearance. Later, we did London , E3, etc. We've been at E3 ever since ever since, and then Steve put the Babes in STP and AW and the rest, as they say, is history, which of course also includes the BWA, but that's a whole other story."

With this issue, we feature two breakthroughs in the field of Postal Babiana. First, Jessyka, our gorgeous Postal Babe of the Month not only gave great interview but is now inextricably linked to electronic gaming history as the first of the modern Postal Babes to be personally photographed by Running With Scissors' metaphysical bossman, Pope Vincent Desi I.

Vince took many of the ideas and dream scenarios of RWS' creative staff and used them to forge a new level of Postal Babe photography, complete with Jessyka ready to shove shovels and other iconic POSTAL elements directly up the readers' metaphorical ass. And so for the first time, the Postal part and the Babe part have been unified at a level we at Running With Scissors could previously only dream of.

We've also totally reorganized our Photo Archive section so that you now have instant access to all our Postal Babe photographs and movies. This archive of Postal pussycats is without equal in the virtual world of babes and bombs.

And as a special treat to help kick things off, the Photo Archive section opens with a series of Jennifer Walcott pictures you've never seen before. As our first Alpha Model, we were not immediately able to obtain photos of this breathtakingly beautiful woman in actual Postal Babe garb.

But we've got them now, so if by any chance you haven't already linked there and returned, you do NOT want to miss the all new Postal Babe Photo Archive, complete with Jennifer Walcott Gone POSTAL!

And last, but hardly least, our "Postal Nation" segment this month is devoted almost exclusively to the only all-female game team in the POSTAL League and environs – the now-legendary Bitches With Attitude (BWA). The women speak up about how they got into gaming, discovered POSTAL2 and the competitive online world with honesty, humor and enough sass to burn the graffiti off the walls of the New York City subway system.

So go check it out before I write another editorial!

See ya all next month, Postal Babies!

--The Gimp