POSTAL BULLETS
News From The Postal Underworld

Lots more information – as well as an interview with Uwe himself, sound bites from Vince Desi, the question the world wants answered (will Gary Coleman appear in the film??) and more of your suggestions for who should be cast as the Postal Dude (yes, they've been coming in for months now) than we ever expected. I mean seriously, dude, Jon Bon Jovi ?!

In any case, the formal announcement drew coverage throughout the game and movie media, including a shockingly objective report (let's face it, we're always shocked when we get objective coverage) from MTV News.

Continue tracking the main site for information on this major story as it continues down the poop chute.

Hot New Products Arrive Courtesy Café Press
Okay, so you're a big time POSTAL fan and you've been representing in that admittedly-cool but well-worn POSTAL black T-shirt now for what, six years or so? And you were so desperate for more POSTAL goodies that you purchased TWO of the metal Running With Scissors signs (one with bullet holes, one without).

Well, do we have good news for you – an entirely new selection of POSTAL-related items is on the way! Starting with the incredibly cool Postal Dude Clock (guess where the hands are coming out of), the RWS Cafe Press Annex Store will be introducing an impressive variety of all new products. Unfortunately, Cafe Press' base pricing on some items is a bit extreme, so when you see us charging $20 for a poster, realize that we're only making two dollars profit! So we'll understand if only the most hardcore elite Postal Fanatics drop for some of the pricier items.

But there will be plenty of affordable items for the budget conscious Postal fan. The Postal Dude XMas ornament is to die (or kill) for!

The World's Most Dangerous Game Fans Strike Again
Betcha didn't think we could top last issue's fan contribution of a POSTAL mini-movie produced entirely with Legos, did you? Well, not only do we have a scene from a live action POSTAL movie being produced by fans, but we have the first POSTAL drawings from an artist we think you're going to be seeing a LOT of in upcoming issues.

So go check out the teaser for the home-made POSTAL flick and then pop your eyes at the images below, courtesy of Chris Holm. When finished, replace eyes.

Vince Desi: From Russia With Love
In a recent interview with the Kiev-based Russian game magazine, Gameplay, Vince Desi demonstrated that he seems to have a lot more freedom of speech in Russia than in the USA . Reprinted for your approval, samples from an interview that Vince himself admits he couldn't get away with in North America :

When asked where the name "Running With Scissors" came from, Vince used his razor sharp memory to pluck the details from the distant past. "I have no fuckin' idea," he declared. "Actually, I kind of recall the name got kicked around the office – we were working on some educational crap (before starting RWS), and we were all tired of the shit that was out there, all boring, and so we wanted a name that meant something, that described what we're about – so basically, we're about everything your mother told you not to do, and we do it!"

When the interviewer inquired whether RWS initially intended to produce a game that represented the paragon of videogame violence, Vince responded: "We never considered it to be violent, we always thought of it as funny. Sure, maybe setting a marching band on fire, or pissing on someone when they're on fire could be considered evil and vile, but hey, we think it's funny, and so do a helluva lot of other people. I've always said we make games for ourselves and people like us. We're not making THE SIMS, or some cardboard cookie cutter game that sells to everybody. As for the 14+ countries that made POSTAL illegal, we thank the internet.

As for the Hot Coffee controversy, Vince summed it up like so: "It was all bullshit. Here in the USA the game industry deserves all the negative press it gets. There's no way that nobody in management at Take 2 didn't know; I was laughing my ass off the first few days because they blamed everybody, but hey, money buys people and in the end they bought their way out of it. As for the scene in the game itself, it was bullshit, total crap, and now we have all these new politicians fighting the game industry. We have the bitch with a dick, Hillary, acting like she's some fucking expert when the only joystick she ever knew was the one that Bill Clinton gave her cause he wouldn't fuck her himself."

Besides strengthening the envelope for international diplomacy, Vince also stood up for the right of people to entertain themselves as best they can. "I say let people do what they want as long as they don't bother other people. For me I prefer a bottle of red wine and a good joint of exotic pot to a videogame. I'm too competitive to relax playing games."

When told that POSTAL 3 was already in the planning stages, the interviewer asked eagerly, perhaps hopefully: "Dude will return and kill everybody on his way? Are you planning to create scandal sequel to a scandal game?" Vince responded: " Scandal, atrocity, revolution, who knows. All I can say is we will do our best to make sure we give our fans what they want – pure unadulterated fun and violence."

Urinal Cakes (Bits and Pieces from the POSTAL Universe)
The Urinal's master of the Q&A, the legendary Game Doctor, has written a book which will be available in a few weeks from Rolenta Press. The Doc, AKA Bill Kunkel, co-created game journalism with the "Arcade Alley" column in Video Magazine in '78 and co-founded (with Arnie Katz and Joyce Worley) the world's first game magazine, Electronic Games in '81. That means he's had lots of time to collect dirt on everybody – himself included. Read all about the lurid sexcapades, the outrageous drug use and other wonders from the game world in the 80s and 90s. I mean, the guy hung out with Vince Desi , so he sure didn't spend his time at joystick medical seminars. Kunkel will read a chapter from his book, "Confessions of The Game Doctor" at the VGExpo near Philadelphia on the main stage at high noon, Saturday, November 12. Other luminaries appearing at the show include the man who invented videogames, Ralph Baer …

Sean Star , Technology Editor of Envy Magazine has a "very positive, fun review" (his words) of POSTAL 2 and APOCALYPSE WEEKEND in the November '05 issue. Sean is also hoping to interview POSTAL Babes Jennifer Walcott and Traci Bingham . God I'm so envious of that guy!...

It's been about eight years since the Postmaster General attempted to ban RWS from using the title "Postal" in its then-new computer game and while we're not sure whether the hierarchy of the Post Office has found peace with us, the postal workers certainly have. Check out a surprisingly fair and rational look at our games at the Post Office Workers' official site. (Note: You'll have to hunt for it a bit, the page is thick with tiny, tiny text. The Postal review is on the left-hand sidebar.)

Overseas Editions of The Urinal Still Overflowing the International Scene
German The Dude Magazine - This is the most ambitious POSTAL fan magazine project we have seen and contains original material. We at RWS are in the process of granting them free access to all materials from The Urinal – in fact, since some of these publications can show nip, you might want to check them out for POSTAL Babe shots that even WE can't show you. In any case, at the moment this is simply a magazine devoted to POSTAL and The Dude and whether you can read German or not, it's well worth checking out.

Russian Russia has certainly embraced the POSTAL series – we've sold, like, millions of copies over there – so it was inevitable that a site such as this would turn up. Take a trip that melts the Iron Curtain, comrades, and see what a Urinal looks like in Russia .

Portuguese Pedro is among our oldest and most loyal fans and among the first to seek permission to translate our newsletter into other tongues.

Swedish I mean, with all those hot, blond POSTAL Babes, you KNEW there hadda be a Swedish version, right?

Italian Manuel Marino, nother of our true veterans and hall of fame fans brings you a Urinal with Italiano zest!

Benelux/Dutch D. Dam Wichers decided The Benelux countries need The Urinal too, folks. This is a recent effort and we wish Danny Dam the best of luck.

Japan Toshi informs us POSTAL is extremely popular in the Pacific Rim and I'm sure we'd do even better there if we included bondage shots in the games. Oh well, you can't have everything.

Gallic/French This is the publication that drew 18 different suggestions for an appropriate translation of our title. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a Ouamdu Ouamdu to run here.

This International POSTAL phenomenon has somewhat overwhelmed us, but if you're game for posting our newsletter in the language of your choice (from Klingon to Hobbit to Brad Pitt in "Snatch"), let us know and we'll do anything we can to help get you started.

Seeing the POSTAL Sites
As always, here's an arbitrary list of POSTAL-related sites presented in no particular order:

* To see some new zombie images from the Eternal Damnation Mod check out http://resurrection-studios.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=449

* http://www.freewebs.com/postalaw/thepostalworld.htm has a new Share The Pain review up.

* http://postalfr.tonsite.biz/news.php French Postal forums. Parlez des machettes de boomerang en Français!
Le' W00T!

 * The new URL for the Bitches With Attitude forums is: http://purepostal.com/forums/viewforum.php?f=26 go chat with the Grrlz that WILL kick your sorry ass.

*http://moddb.com/ Your one-stop shop for all things Mod related.

* www.postalnetwork.org The first and greatest Postal portal!

* http://www.resurrection-studios.com/ Home of the Eternal Damnation Mod project.

* http://elitebastard.com/kamek/ Kamek's batcave of Postal Moddery. Loads of cool stuff for multiplayer Postal!

* http://www.bitchassmofos.com/ BAMF's multiplayer Postal Clan

* http://postal2.tk/ Looks like a store page, smells like a store page, but under the brazen attempt to sell you Share The Pain are links to free multiplayer maps and other Postal-related goodness!

* http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=15229050&Mytoken=20050728120705 Ever wonder what The Dude's friends are like? Well, you can meet 27 of them right here.

* http://www.freewebs.com/bitches-with-attitude/index.htm The old Bitches With Attitude site with really awful LOUD midi music on it. They will taunt you a second time and kick your ear's ass!

* http://www.geocities.com/hellchild1989/home2.htm Another Postal fan sharing his pain. Quick, check out his Postal cartoons for some extra Deep Hurting before he does something crazy...

And that wraps us up for this month. Be here next time when The Urinal once again celebrates... er... whatever the hell it is we decide to celebrate next month...