Postal Nation:
Meet Toploader!

As all of you who read last issue's Postal Nation (and if you haven't read it, then why the hell do you think we have a Back Issues link on the front page?) know, we just gave some massive and well-earned coverage to the all-girl game bashers at Bitches With Attitude from the POSTAL League.

Lest we forget, however, there are other heavy duty players in the world of multi-player POSTAL2 and therefore we continue with our coverage of some of the outstanding League members.

This month's subject? Toploader, who offers the following bio and interview:

BIO: Toploader's real world name is Jon Merchant and his describes his various vocations as including "making maps, running servers, and getting insulted." His current favorite games are "POSTAL2: STP (of course) and when there's no one playing, I load Call of Duty to pass the time." His all-time fave games are P2: STP, Super Mario Kart, Crazy Taxi 1 and Street Fighter II" and his favorite personal FON-tasy? "Three women, two dildos and me," noting that "I really don't ask a lot." And ladies, he's available!

Okay, now let's get into the Q&A:

GIMP: How did you first encounter POSTAL or P2 (whichever you played first)?

TL: That would an Internet review for Postal 2. It got a very low score, but the review stated you could stick a cat on the end of your shotgun as a silencer. That alone sold me on the game. I was surprised to find it in my local game shop, so I parted with my £30 [if you haven't guessed, the Top is a Brit!] and never looked back. I quickly realized the mag's statement that this was simply a bad game jumping on the GTA bandwagon was incorrect. I found the game original, funny and well-executed.

And that was before I realized that RWS was such a small company.

GIMP: Explain your transition from someone who enjoyed playing POSTAL to a Hall of Fame level Fan?

TL: Simple, the community. I got interested in map making with the Unreal editor because of Postal2; it was simply more fun to make Postal maps then it ever would have been for Unreal. I also felt it was wrong that the Europeans didn't have a server to call home, so I opened one last October.

Before Postal I was never really an online gamer (and therefore still had contact with the outside world). But Postal has opened a whole new world to me of online fragging, maps and mods. The solo game was inspiring; the multiplayer changed my life.

GIMP: Tell us a little about yourself, Jon -- age, where you live, what you do for a living/school, how much your home town sucks/rules, what else you like to do and anything you think would be interesting.

TL: I'm 23 and live in a shitty town in Wales called Barry . (It's the sort of place that makes Postal's Paradise look appealing). I work in bars and clubs full time at the moment, shit work, shit pay but you do get to 'meet' a lot of women, so it all balances out in the end.

GIMP: That's the best place for it to balance out.

TL: I now spend most of my free time doing something Postal and RWS-related. It's the best community I have ever found on the internet. Even the dicks are more amusing than annoying.

GIMP: What's your #1 POSTAL Fantasy?

TL: Simple – to have some input into the making of Postal 3. Go on RWS, make my fantasy come true. :D

GIMP: Ah, so THAT is his FON-tasy, Tattoo. Hey, as a Gimp in all seriousness, through the forums, and through email communication with RWS, you folks have more influence on what we do than you might suspect. Throw out some ideas – as if we could stop you – and remember, we're not above stealing, err, that is, bowing to our fans' wishes.

But now it's time for you to rant a little from across the big pond. How do you feel about the way cheap US politicians in search of an issue and fascist "think-of-the-children" "family" groups have attacked and exploited the POSTAL games for their purposes?

TL: It's sickening. These people just fire off without even really researching anything. Today's kids are in trouble I fully agree, but it's certainly not RWS causing it. How the governments can point fingers at entertainment while our countries are being taken over by drugs and crime is a joke. Postal is simply a brilliantly satirical take on the world we live in and the problems it has.

GIMP: And isn't it interesting that OTHER games rated "M" are carried in the major retailers, whereas POSTAL 2 and its follow-up disks are shunned because RWS is a single-franchise company?

TL: It's plain fucking stupid. Okay, I accept that GTA and its spin-offs are not as 'brutal' as Postal but the theme is worse. It actively glorifies crime and rewards you for doing it. And Manhunt? This game is far darker then Postal, and bloodier. If I had an eight year old child, I'd rather they played Postal over Manhunt.

GIMP: How do your friends and family feel about your POSTAL devotion?

TL: I have seriously lost a girlfriend as a direct result to my devotion to RWS, Postal and Eternal Damnation. She gave me the choice: her or Postal. Silly women.

GIMP: My lord, your testosterone makes me tingle all over! Any other thoughts you'd like to share with fellow POSTALites?

TL: Postal is an online game like no other, and truly is fun for all, whether you are an 'elite' player or just some guy who plays for an hour on the weekend. The small but close community will be there to help you if they can, as unlike most communities we are eager to get others involved. If you ever fancied yourself as a level designer or Mod maker, then this is a great place to start and make a name for yourself. I have met some of the nicest people through Postal, and I have learnt a lot also. For that reason I shall always have an interest in RWS and the Postal franchise.

GIMP: A big hand for Mr. Jon " Toploader " Merchant , readers. Check back next month to see which member of the POSTAL League elite will be the subject of an interview.

Not that we're helpless pawns or anything, but we couldn't leave the POSTAL Nation section of this newsletter without a comment from one of our dear Bitches With Attitude. BitchAss Mofo was good enough to drop this heads-up our way:

"Hey, I don't know if you guys have seen it or if this is old news but I just watched a Gary Coleman biography on the A&E channel and they show a picture of him with two Postal Babes wearing Postal shirts; a very short clip of him from the game at 1 Spot, and then towards the end of the show they actually spent about 3-4 minutes talking specifically about Postal 2 and showing quite a few clips from the game. If you haven't seen it, watch for it on A&E. They usually repeat things a lot."

Thanks for the tip, my darlin' Bitch, I'll keep my DVR primed for the next showing.

And that's a wrap for this month. Nothing scary in this column, I guess, but these theme issues can be tough to maintain all the way through. Especially when you're up to your knees in toilet water – and I don't mean the expensive kind they sell in pretty bottles. Take care, beware, Postal Babies, we want you here safe and sound for next month's issue, which is all about the terrifying world of… LICENSING! Boohoohahahahaha!

POSTAL League Sites:
BitchAssMotherFuckers http://www.bitchassmofos.com
Elite Bastards   http://www.elitebastard.com
Hell's Evil Death  http://hellsevildeath.com/index.html
M@DHeadz   http://www.madheadz.net.tc/
Brainless Lunatics   http://www.freewebs.com/brainleslunatics/index.htm
The Darklight Team  http://www.darklight.wb.st/
Bitches With Attitudes  http://www.freewebs.com/bitches-with-attitude/
Bringers of Doom  http://purepostal.com/forums/index.php

And that's all for this month. Remember, it's even more fun if you participate! So send us something cool, dammit!