Audio Book Reviews By Jonathan Lowe [As you may have noticed, the last few issues of The Urinal have taken on a somewhat broader cultural perspective. Last issue, for example, we discussed music and movies in a POSTAL vein and this month we're introducing our first Book Reviews. Of course, as a RWS publication, we can't be expected to do things the way any other software publisher would. They'd probably review plain old books. You know, the ones printed on paper? Well not us! In our quest to put a twist on even the straightest assignment, this issue's reviews concentrate on Audio Books. Excellent for the blind, illiterate and continually rushed among us. Who knows, next issue we might even start reviewing cars. We here at Running With Scissors are basically the Renaissance Men of the 21st Century, and try though the game industry and its flunkies may, they can't keep us in a box. We've urrned that much, at least. In any case, let's get on with the reviews before I start to gag on these puns... -The Gimp] Pop quiz. Which words go together with " Hollywood " better – "glamour", "greed" or "jaded"? After hearing actor Eric Bogosian read HOLLYWOOD ANIMAL by screenwriter Joe Eszterhas for Random House Audio, you'll probably choose B and C. It's an autobiographical memoir by the sometimes "shocking" writer of Basic Instinct, Jagged Edge, and Flashdance about the cutthroat business of making movies. A self styled rebel, Eszterhas talks about the behind-the-scenes deals he's made with Tinsel Town 's often devilish power brokers, while also revealing his own past involving his likewise controversial father. What you seem to become while listening to this audiobook is a fly on the wall, eavesdropping on a man who tried to avoid becoming a Hollywood animal himself, while battling for control of his material and fighting cancer. Bogosian was certainly a good pick to read this memoir, which in ways sounds like a Hollywood script itself. Another new memoir is by Walter Yetnikoff , who reads his HOWLING AT THE MOON, also for Random House. The infamous former head of CBS Records pulls no punches in detailing the excesses of the music industry during the 70s and 80s, when he clashed with egotistical stars and other media moguls like Barry Diller , David Geffen , and Michael Ovitz . Can a self-admitted alcoholic cokehead control freak find redemption by writing an honest confessional, and working for charity? Probably not, but Yetnikoff gives it his best shot here, and tries to convince himself that this tell-all isn't merely a wistful and funny longing for a return to power and the debaucheries of youth. For the listener, it's also a bit like a train wreck, rubbernecking at all the name-dropping. . . particularly Michael Jackson. Walter even has his own pet name for God, which may have you howling with laughter at the extent of his hubris and lack of humility. Bruce Sabath reads DIGITAL FORTRESS by Dan "The DaVinci Code" Brown, a novel about an NSA supercomputer which gets invaded by a program developed by a Japanese hacker wanting to reveal its secrets to the world. It's an earlier work by the talented creator of plot twists, recently released by Audio Renaissance due to Brown's new-found popularity. Despite his exaggerated interpretations of some characters, reader Sabath succeeds in making the production enjoyable, while Brown shows early promise that he's developing what it takes to replace a now boring John Grisham or even Michael Crichton as today's bestselling master of suspense. Sean Mangan reads SCARECROW by Matthew Reilly for Bolinda Audio. Reilly's an Australian writer of action adventures, and this one is an all out don't-stop-to-breathe suspense about a enigmatic Marine named Shane Schofield, who's being hunted by bounty hunters who'll be paid $20 million if they return his head to a castle in France inside an organ delivery box. There are others on the kill list too, but Schofield has other plans. If you can overlook a few inordinately timely saves of our hero by his associates, you will be rewarded by remarkably few navel-picking pauses. You know the first scene in any James Bond film, which is usually over the top? Well, this book is like that for over 12 hours, non-stop. There's a cool scene with a big rig, too. Actor Christopher Lane reads OPERATIVES, SPIES, AND SABOTEURS by Patrick O'Donnell for Blackstone Audio. It's a well researched history of the OSS during WWII, following actual missions against Germany , and including first person accounts of the action by those involved in special operations. The improvised weapons used sound intriguing and sometimes amusing, like the fake mule dung used as explosives. The OSS even became the inspiration for Ian Fleming , who based his fictional James Bond on their exploits. This unabridged audiobook is just over ten hours in length, and I recommend you rent the unusual history because it's an engrossing true story hich, until now, hasn't been told in this depth. Now, if you remove yourself from the gene pool with an idiot accident, you may qualify for a Darwin Award. In Wendy Northcutt's THE DARWIN AWARDS--VOL. 3, you'll meet a Sheriff who shot himself twice, an insurance defrauder who died amputating his own leg with a chain saw, and a man who died being crushed by the tree limb he just cut. Care is taken to outline the rules in qualifying for an award, and not all of the winners are as amusing, but listening to this audiobook may have you buckling your seat belt every time. It's narrated by Chris Graybill, Patrick Lawlor, and Julie Schaller, who take turns for Listen& Live Audio (now that's ironic!) with the brief accounts which prove the axiom "only the fit shall survive." Finally, for kicks, pick up TALL TALES FOR THE ROAD, which I had a hand in producing. There's a full cast and sound effects in this audio drama production featuring a dozen actors. Meet a couch potato forced at gunpoint to confront his obsession with television, a hen-pecked wimp who buys a Harley to spite his mother-in-law, and a tourist who robs a casino only to find getaway impossible. The CD's cover can be seen at TimberwolfPress.com. Be sure to ask them for a catalog of their new releases, especially if you enjoy radio dramas which sound like audio movies. (These audiobooks can be rented from Audio Adventures by calling 1-800-551-6692. Reviewer Jonathan Lowe is author of the acclaimed Hollywood mystery/satire CD "Oscar's Hijack" from BlackstoneAudio.com)

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