Inside the stall with... Cliffy B The Gimp sits down to chat with self-styled game icon Cliffy B THE GIMP: So, Cliffy, tell us a little – remember, I said "a little" – about yourself! Who is this rock & roll videogame enigma we call "Cliffy B"? CLIFFY B: I'm not really a game designer. I simply play one on TV. GIMP: Hurm. Okay, so how many times have YOU been screwed over by ruthless publishers? Not as many times as us, I'll bet. CLIFFY: The key to this business is to have ass kicking biz guys like Mark Rein and Jay Wilbur. I hear developers sometimes saying "What do those biz guys do all day?" They make sure the damned lights stay on, that's what they do! GIMP: Yeah. We got an old Hungarian guy who does that here. So what's the story? Are you more famous than Tommy Tallarico? CLIFFY: Apples and oranges, really. Think of him as the Italian Sausage. I'm more like the Polish Sausage. GIMP: Just a couple of hot dogs, eh? Okay, let's get serious. How would you compare the unreal violence in POSTAL with the real violence in Unreal? CLIFFY: I'm not allowed to talk about violence or Mark will Hulk out on me. [GIMP makes whiplash sound.] GIMP: Do you look better in a cowboy hat than the Fat Man? CLIFFY: I kind of look like Max Hardcore... only young. GIMP: Do you think the POSTAL games are too violent, Cliffy? And remember, we're sensitive on this subject. CLIFFY: I prefer the peeing. I like peeing on myself. I mostly like peeing on Gary Coleman. GIMP: We hear that a lot. What kind of music do you listen to? CLIFFY: Everything from downtempo to hip hop to pop. I even love me some Britney Spears. GIMP: Well, if you'll cop to that, you'll cop to anything. Which makes it the perfect time to ask whether you dye your pubes? If so, does it hurt? CLIFFY: Naturally. It's kind of like when I was a boy and I had full body pajamas and I'd catch my tinkle stick in the zipper. GIMP: Err, okay. What are you working on right now that you can talk about? CLIFFY: Playing a lot of UT2004 and getting paid for it. GIMP: Can WE have a pirate copy of UT2004? CLIFFY: Sure, if you'd like the feds busting down your door and dragging your ass to Oz. GIMP: Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.  In your honest opinion, or at least as honest as you can openly be, please tell us what you think of the state of the game industry today? CLIFFY: We're rounding the corner towards becoming the dominant entertainment form of the next 100 years. GIMP: Thank you, Cliffy. Now, about that copy of UT2004...

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